After yesterday´s storms today everything was more peaceful.
There is no more decisions to make, no more crossroads, no doubts..
yesterday it felt like a loss.. it was hard to accept that we just cannot do more... the trip to London appeared for us like an opportunity for everything to still change for better, it was very painful to let go this last chance to try in some way take control over the things which are happening to us.. to loose the right to make a choice.. even if this choice was only an illusion..
today came the relief.. there is no more fighting, no inner struggle.. what we hoped to escape from by going to London is unavoidable, we cannot runaway from our destiny, whatever it is.. We tried to run away from it already earlier, by coming to Portugal, we hoped things will improve in here, we believed a miracle could happen.. and it still might.. and might not.. nobody knows what is awaiting us..
I am now close to Helder, over the noise from the oxygen machine, I can here Helder´s breath..
There is no more decisions to make, no more crossroads, no doubts..
yesterday it felt like a loss.. it was hard to accept that we just cannot do more... the trip to London appeared for us like an opportunity for everything to still change for better, it was very painful to let go this last chance to try in some way take control over the things which are happening to us.. to loose the right to make a choice.. even if this choice was only an illusion..
today came the relief.. there is no more fighting, no inner struggle.. what we hoped to escape from by going to London is unavoidable, we cannot runaway from our destiny, whatever it is.. We tried to run away from it already earlier, by coming to Portugal, we hoped things will improve in here, we believed a miracle could happen.. and it still might.. and might not.. nobody knows what is awaiting us..
I am now close to Helder, over the noise from the oxygen machine, I can here Helder´s breath..
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