Saturday, June 30, 2012

Kite Runner

Morning brought wind to Algarve, good time to take out our kite and launch to the sky, I have never done it before, I just loved the sensation, I hope the kids as well, I even cut my finger with the string from the kite, as in the story in the book. For the first time since we are in the Algarve, this afternoon there was not sesta, but a theatre, It was great to see Daniel and Olivia very focus watching the little actors.

To be honest, I am glad that somehow I am findiging extra energy here, and tonight we are camping outside. You are all invited to our small house.

Silves Library

Today we had a little different program, we visited Silves Library, a long time I have not seen such a sea of books in Portuguese, for Olivia was for sure a new experience. In Silves  we bought also flour and yest for our future bread. Afternoons, I will not speak it anymore, because is only about sesta :)
We only managed to leave home already at diner time, to visit our new little cuisine Ines.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Albandeira

This morning we skipped the swimming pool and we went to Albandeira beach, The days are going as I dreamet, with a lot of rest, food and less bad thoughts.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Water Melon

For me Algarve is not only family and beach,it is also Melancia, hi hi. Olivia ws all day inside water, and surprisingly she wants to go alone in the swimming pool, she did not not use to be so brave, I think it is the influence of her cousine Dani. I also love to have the meals in long tables, full of family.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Algarve in the heart

We all, even more Olivia could not wait to go to the Algarve, and to see the family. Just few hours around and I am feeling already happier :)

Seixal spirit

This morning we decided to take it easier, we stayed in bed until late, the night was difficult because of the heat. The day started in the afternoon, Filipe borrowed me his car, and we went to Belem do a Museum,, but Olivia was not in a mood to museums, we did not stayed longer, We need to come back another day. The evening took us to Seixal, to meet friends, it was wonderful evening. Tomorrow I will updated with some pictures.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

N. Sra. Fatima

It was a day full of emotions, firstly I had a great night of sleep, I do not remember the last one like this. We stayed for the rest of the morning with Patricia, Miguel and Maria in Lagoa Albufeira, We enjoyed very much their hospitality, shame that Maria was with fever. It was difficult to leave their place, but in the end we, Filipe, Claudia and Lucas went to Fatima. There me and Justyna had time only for us, together we did a short walk and experienced all the good vibrations of the place. I was very touched, I could not stopped to cry. I prayed for all of us, friends and not yet friends. I am sure the Lady will do her best for us.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Beautiful light

Finally in Portugal, after 1 year. It isan  unbelievable sensation, to have such a reception here from friends, I was lucky to meet this afternoon so many of them, to taste sardines and even more to find the the Big Sun. Just the light is wonderful, is an inspiration for everything. In the next days I hope to find here also a lot of positiveness and healing.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Bloods good enough

After a long night without sleeping, me and Justyna went very early in the morning to the Hospital to find the last blood results before we will depart tomorrow to Portugal, when the doctor said that my blood tests were OK, I straight away started to think about Portugal and nothing else would stop me to think about that, even what the doctor still had to tell me. They prescribed me a big dose of medicines to not be missing nothing out there. In Portugal I just need to find the way to do another blood tests and fax them to England. Out of the Hospital, I felt with more energies, I decided to skip the elevator and do all the 219 steps of the Belsize Park underground station, as if I was going to the Paraiso Beach in Carvoeiro :). A brave endeavour, but I only did because it was downwards way.

The afternoon Olivia was again with her friend Kalina, to spend the last hours together, For us, and even more to Justyna the big packing will start just now, when Olivia is sleeping.
So tomorrow I will be already in Portugal, it will be good to see family, friends and the Sun, here the Summer come in the sleepers, nobody noticed it.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Football supporters

I tried this morning a session of Hypnotherapy, offered to me by my friend Bea, this was an opportunity to relax and let my unconsciousness be in control, I think this also will help in the future to find more time to relax, as now I know where is the bench to find my tranquillity.

Just one more day and we are in Portugal, until there one more trip to the doctors in the Royal Free, but much more to Justyna, for a days I have not seen her stopping for a moment, constantly doing things and now with the new intruder, cleaning even more.
This evening I had my moment of distress, watching football, Olivia was also supporting Portugal and eating a corn.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The Terminator

It took me so much effort today to go to the hospital, for nothing. I went to see the dermatologist to follow up the last appointment regarding to my eternal scalp problem. It got better this days, but the appointment with doctor was so frustrating, I do not remember nothing like this before. It was a different doctor, he did not know why I was there, he did not have any report from last appointment,  he even removed another sample from my scalp just because he could not find any results, I just could not believe. I came to the hospital to know the results but there was nothing. At least, after I complained in the afternoon I had a call from the doctor apologising for all the misunderstandings and she reassured me that now she will  follow me more close.
This afternoon I dressed as an Exterminator, I went to the shop and I bought mice poison, traps and filling for the holes at home, I declared war to this mouse at home, This is nothing to be proud, but this must be seen as a healthy issue.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Frustration and anger

Today, me and Olivia had a day for dentists, firstly Oli, the normal clean before holidays. I felt a bit more with energies, just the mood and anger still overtaken any nice feeling that came around. 
It is a new feeling or at least it is something I have not had many times before, frustration and anger with everything. 
Even the Reiki have not helped to overcome this today. I found this picture that shows  how I was not today.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Bad Day

A long time I did not have a day like this, I would need to go back to my days of chemotherapy to have been so tired as today, I went only outside to go to the GP, to see if she could help me with my endless cold, But back home after a long journey back, when I entered home I could not hide my tiredness and frustration about all this, and I burst into tears in Justyna's arms. At least I have always a comfort shoulder to rest on and a magnificent woman to hug.
I thought Olivia was outside in the garden, but instead she was in, she listen all my whimper mixed with tears, after I noticed she was scare and a bit lost with the atmosphere that I created.

Until the end of the week I would like to find some energies in order to help to pack the luggage, We will be for such a long time in Portugal that I do not want to forget anything important.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Again Father's day

I only started having good dreams this morning when I woke up, Olivia came to my bed and I received a very realistic portrait of myself, and a beautiful flower, She did not forget about father's day here in England. I am going for another Grand Slam of father's day, It was firstly in Portugal,  now here, and in a week time it will be in Poland :)

Justyna continues busy, she does everything to make me happy, Today I had the visit of my friends from the diabetes team, We kept in contact since the course in the hospital about diabetes. I like to have contact with new people, specially when we can learn a lot, actually this happens all the time, just to have a heart open, ears clean, and prejudice on the side.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Sweet friend

Today was a much calmer day, even if I am not in the best shape, Now with this hunger to deal and sort out papers and bureaucracy, that invaded suddenly all my thoughts, this to make life easier to my love ones, But this steps are also taking a lot of me, sometimes I am in the verge to cry, It will happen ;)

In the afternoon I compensated myself with a lot of play and laughing with Olivia, was wonderful to listen Olivia.

We had today the visit of our friend Goshia, she brought with her part of the fields where she works, the house is covered with sweet strawberries, she has been also sharing with her friends in the neighbourhood, and they are many. It is difficult to not like Goshia. She is like the strawberries, very sweet :)

Friday, June 15, 2012

Saints' day

Today Olivia had her name's day, a celebration that come from her Polish side, that celebrates the St.Olivia. Because of a lack of a St Helder in the calendar we decided to adopt this day also for my Name's day :)
Olivia choose the coffee to have the breakfast in, the Costa, For a day she was spoiled with sweets.
After the nursery she had the afternoon with Shubhi, Me and Justyna had all the day for us, to update the conversations and feelings.

We went to see my friend Bea, who is herbalist, I need to consider as much approaches as possible, I feel myself in the edge. From her I got new ideas, and a lot of new products to help me, at least this ones will not be so much toxic as the ones I have been taking. Back home, alone from Olivia, and pushed by the meeting with Bea, me and Justyna tried to speak for the first time more openly about the future, in the case of... It is difficult and hurts to do scenarios when we are not here anymore.  But I still think, it is better to not leave anything un-told. Sometimes my body and mind tells and advises me to give up, but I am counting with some other sense that tells me to do not worry with what your mind and body is telling, I am here and we are not giving up because we are not going down.
Have I already told you guys, thank you for being my friends:)

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Mirror, mirror mine...

Through this days I found my faithful enemy, the mirror, I hate to look to the mirror, not only to look to myself but more because the temptation to look for my growth in my neck. This morning I did not resist and I checked again the neck, I did not see it smaller, and plus the weird feeling over the shoulders put me a bit down, reflected in my day. I was more sad and without too much motivation.

Today I went to the Art class defeated by the cold that does not go away, by the lack of courage, and by the tiredness that not let me to take advantage of the nice atmosphere and friends, I was not there..

With all this is easy to find myself further away from Olivia, at least she had a great day, meeting also new friends from the nursery.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Clearing out

Today I was still in a mood to clear out, this time I turned my attentions to the shed outside, I organised and already gave away few things to the charity shop. I confess that it was easier job to put the things out of the shed than to choose and put it back, this made me confused as Justyna caught in the picture. Nevertheless I do like to go around and organise :)

This afternoon I had an invitation for a tea that would relax and cheer me up. It was great to spend time with our friends neighbours Sue and Denis, Olivia did not let any of them to rest, But at least she gave us time off to watch the Portugal football match.

In the night it is Justyna who is finishing the job and clearing out few bits.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

In the backyard

This is one of those days that being tired and weak made me feel happier, If I was not feeling a wrack I would never enjoyed so much to stay in bed in the morning, and even less I would appreciated so much my Reiki session this afternoon, In the therapy I went for a minutes into a different dimension, Probably I dived only for a few minutes but the sensation was much longer, shame that I came back to this dimension with some kids noises from outside of the room :)

This afternoon I used the few energies left to help clean our storage, to put on the side stuff to take to Portugal, others to the offer in the freecycle and also to the charity shops. This movement was triggered probably because of the yesterday's unexpected visit of our mousely friend, It pushed me to keep everything as clean and tidy as possible, then I can keep a better and closer eye on him. This was our first move, lets see what will be his response.

There are things were I know by experience that I always find a lot of pleasure and makes me recharge some energies, this is to spend time with my doggy friend Tazz, It was a pleasure to respond to Shubhi's favour and come this afternoon to feed Tazz and have a walk with him. Me and Olivia love this moments in the backyard of Shubhi's house, and I think Tazz might enjoyed also to spend time with us, for all the reasons :)

Monday, June 11, 2012

#Welcome to the Jungle#

The cold is taking over the house, Olivia is complaining from headaches and myself I am completely blocked and tired, I hope the white cells will find the energies to kill the intruder, Again some patience and resting should help to get this sorted out. This morning took me some courage to get out from bed and go to work in the charity shop, I just wanted to be in bed. But in the end it was a good decision, as I got so much distracted repairing toys and shoes that the time flown.

Because of the rain being so intense in the last months, the vegetation in my and my neighbour's garden  grown up out of control, The right word for this Ecosystem is a Jungle. This is even more true, as today for a coincidence I was looking outside, and I saw a scene that could be taken from the David Attenborough's natural series, firstly was a little mouse crossing the garden but after suddenly appeared a big Magpie that flyby just in front of my window to attack the little mouse, for a few minutes the small creature tried to defend himself, but there was not a chance. But the bird also did not have an easy life, because in the arena of the battle appeared also a fox, so the bird quickly took the mouse not dead yet, to the roof, to be safe from the fox. From our window all our three witnessed the cruelest battle for Life.

This evening I have my princesses sleeping just beside me in the bed, it is difficult to not look to the beautiful portrait of mother and daughter together in bed, with such a complicity that took me few seconds to put away from my head the feeling of jealous. Often, it serves me as consolation to know how Justyna is a good mother and Olivia loves her. After that thought, I feel always more happy with the Life cycle.

The day has not stooped yet, this evening my love for animals has been tested as never! The jungles has also moved to my house, just now in a walk to the toilets I saw for the first time in our house a small mouse, I confessed that I felt the weakest person in the front of him, Tomorrow I will need to take some attitude to expel the guest, and this is a torture for me.